Happy 21st, Fee

One of my favorite images; lighting up of Kong Ming Deng in Kukup


So, I'd be 21 when the clock strikes 12 tonight. When I was young, I dreamt of parties and huge celebrations and that I'd ask for everything in the world on my 21st but now that it's here, it's just another day to me now and I dread growing up.

My friends expected me to throw a party this year but all I wanted was a getaway. I've been lucky to have had big surprise parties planned for me when I turned sweet 16 and 18, and there's nothing more I could ask for. This year, I want nothing more than a quiet birthday and simple dinner with my friends. I wanted to depart on the day itself and explore new land but work and exams do not permit that. My mom has been really kind to plan an overseas trip for me in September and one possibly at the end of the year/ beginning of next year because of school. 20th birthday was the most painful birthday I've ever been through and it left me scarred, it changed my life forever. But this year, it opened my eyes to new possibilities and brought my mom and I closer and I'm really touched by what she has done for me. I'm lucky to be able to end my exams tonight and cut myself some slack for a day before work piles up again. It's quite an emotional day for me because this day last year I was a complete wreck and when I think back at times, I still break down. But time sure has its way of making one feel better. Here I am, in disbelief of all that has happened, stronger and wiser than I was before. I know better things are waiting for me out there.

I've learnt to find joy within.

Here's to a joyous August, and a happy birthday to myself.

(:

xx